"There was my chance. "It's not all the time, just sometimes." Really?" she asked."Yeah," I said. I waited a minute, then added, "Do you wanna see?"... This was it. She'd either say yes, and I could make her a part of this, or she'd run out & I'd be in even more trouble."You mean see it big?" It's not big right now, dummy. But I can make it big if you wanna see." More breath-holding."OK, lemme see."I stood up and unzipped my pants again. I was really nervous by now, so it had shrunk back. Her eyes lit up as she looked at the note and then her whole face clouded over, "No I can't take it. I'll never be able to pay you back," she said.I replied, "That's OK, you can give me a kiss at Christmas," which raised a smile.Sarah and I had a long running joke which was that come her birthday, my birthday or Christmas, I was going to get a proper kiss from her, and not just a quick peck on the cheek. It had never happened but we'd kept the joke running and I'd just added to it. Before she. I quickly drew a big gulp from the straw and almost spat it out again. The mixture was far heavier than any whiskey-cola I had had before. “Gosh,” I protested, “do you want to make me pass out on your couch after a single glass?” The suggestive smile on her lips betrayed the innocent tone of her voice. “Perhaps?” I sighed. After our row, she had never completely stopped teasing me. “I’ll admit that you are the last person I would have expected to get kicked out. Tell me what happened.” I closed. Terry, I want you to mourn, I want you to miss me, just as I will miss you. But I want you to live, not be buried in the coffin with me! Do you understand me? Do you hear me?”Her eyes fastened on mine and bored into me.“I guess…but…” I waved my hand aimlessly, “Why?”I wasn’t making much sense, but she understood me anyway. But it was Ronnie who spoke. “Terry, when Mary Ann died, I thought I was going to die, too. We were twins, not identical, but we did everything together.”She looked down. “I.
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